Letter To Nelo On A Masculinist Agenda

By: Tobenna Hilary Onuorah

I appreciate your concern over my recent Facebook post where I simply wrote: “Masculinism, we should all be Masculinists”. I fully understand your concern and it is because of this that I wish to write to you

As a little child, I witnessed the passing away of Papa Chika whom we often called Papa Ejima. His death pained me so much that I had shed tears during his funeral. About six months later, Papa Ifeoma passed away. I could vividly remember Father Umunnakwe when he said “ka mkpuluobi ya Zulu Ike na ndokwa”. These two events had wondered why in many families in Nigeria especially in the South-Eastern Region, Men often die before their wives.

Nelo, I discovered that our society made it to be so. We call women Oriaku or Odoziaku while the men are left to wallow in the land of the dead while looking for Aku (money). Our society teaches girls that they could only marry to flee economic hardships but scorns boys who are not able to scale through these hardships

Our society teaches boys not to marry whom they love simply because she is richer or older than him. It also teaches boys not to marry their equals because they would in the long run loose their dignity and respect in the family. As a result of this, most young men have signed death warrant because of the choice of partners that they have made. What if our society told men that they happiness is the ultimate in marriage? What is they are told that whether the lady is your mate or not, richer than you or even younger than you, all that you seek is your happiness?

I once spoke at a boy’s secondary school in Yaoundé, Cameroun where I told boys not to follow the dictates of their society in choosing their conjoints but to follow their hearts. After the speech, the school principal came up and said to me: nice work but you could have also told the boys that tge society does dictate for them because of their progress in life. What if this school principal knew that no society is perfect?

I once had an NYSC friend Onyibo from Rivers State whom I often called Ikwerre Man. At one occasion, I had told him that a man must not provide for a lady. Ikwerre Man laughed. What if he knew that there is no rule that said that a man must provide for a woman?

If we must conquer the growing number of widows in our society, we must teach girls that boys are also humans.

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